Cheerio, my good man, pip pip! The name is MoneySeize. Sir Reginald MoneySeize II, Esq. Now see here, chap, I am a man of good name and standing, and I require a befitting legacy. I merely want to construct the world's largest tower. It is for this reason, my well-buttered scone, that I seek your help playing this... what do the little people call it... ah yes, "platformer."
Simply use the [arrow] keys to make me crouch or move left and right. If I should have to jump, you'll need to hit the [S] key or the [space] bar. I know, my crispy little chocolate chip cookie, I know. An aristocrat such as myself shouldn't need to hop about from platform to platform dodging lethal beast and whirring saw blade like some lowly plumber. But though my coffers may be deep and considerable, even one such as I lacks the necessary 1000 coins of gold to construct the world's largest tower.
Scattered about the construction site are scads of doors leading to rooms holding treasure troves of gold coinage. I beseech you to employ your cat-like reflexes and razor sharp precision, my underdone chicken and pork dumpling, for though these rooms are filled with gold, they are also filled with more ways to die than I have secret Swiss bank accounts. And let's face it, my little folkloric eater of goats, I'm simply too well bred and important to die.
Analysis: Ahem. Hold on a moment, I need to rinse the taste of silver spoon out of my mouth. Ah, better. What to say about MoneySeize? Ah. Right. It's ridiculously hard. We're talking Meat Boy better watch out, because MoneySeize is bringing the A-game when it comes to testing the boundaries between really hard platformer and impossible platformer.
In truth, MoneySeize doesn't classify as impossible, though it can definitely feel like it much of the time. This is by Matt Thorson, author of An Untitled Story and the Jumper series, just to give you an idea of the pain to come. Even the very first set of levels serves up nice and meaty platforming challenges. Throw in the facts that in order to win, you have to get every single one of the coins in the game, and that everything is a one hit kill, and it is clear that this is designed specifically for the platformer adept.
Still, just being hard doesn't make a game good in the same way that sauce just being hot doesn't make it good hot sauce. Thankfully MoneySeize comes with lots of delicious flavor to go with the awesome heat. You are a fan of delicious flavor, right?
Retrogamers will no doubt love the big blocky pixels and delightful chiptune soundtrack. The vintage charm exuded by Moneyseize is so strong you may find yourself reaching for a cartridge to blow into. But fear not, the charm doesn't stop at the sights and sounds.
Any serious platformer needs a serious control scheme, and there is little to fault in MoneySeize. Some may not be thrilled with using the [space] bar to jump, but beyond that the controls definitely get the job done. Fast and loose, they still remain precise to the pixel.
Also, you can't talk platformer without discussing level design, and in MoneySeize, the level design just gets downright evil (in a good way). Thankfully, no single level is very long. In fact, they all cram themselves into a single screen, which means that you won't have to live with the frustration of making it so far just to die and have to start all over again from some arbitrary checkpoint. On the other hand, unless you are a freak of nature, you are going to die... a lot. The game design makes up for this, though, by giving you 40 levels (plus bonus levels) to play through. Bordering on a rage-quit on one level? No problem, just move on to a different level for a while. In the end, though, all the levels are fiendishly designed to push your platforming skills to their utmost limits.
Interestingly, MoneySeize also manages to be accessible to the less awe-inspiring platform gamer. This is a result of the fact that you can squirrel away your coin collection in bite size chunks. The game automatically saves your progress every time you exit a level, so you are quite free to pop through a door, grab one or two coins, and head out. You may need to be superhuman to collect all the coins of a level in one go, but we mere mortals are capable of nibbling away at it over time.
Overall, MoneySeize is great fun for fans of very challenging platformers. At the same time, its high degree of difficulty doesn't undercut its inherent charm and addictive qualities.
Thanks for sending this one in, Gryphon! Cheers!